Only Matts

Welcome to MattCon!

The premier Birthday Party, turned hacker con, turned constant signal chat, turned the best community of kind, smart, talented, wonderful people that I have the absolute privlege to call my friends.

3/22/2025 12:00pm, same place, same time, same snacks.

MattCon 3 Talk Schedule

Talks begin at 2pm

Speaker: xrqz
Title: Making the MattCon 3 Badge
Description: Every con that has a badge needs to have a making the badge talk.

KeyNote Speaker: Shea Bar with Hot Dogs Nangle
Bio: Shea is keynoting Mattcon, because he asked to. Three letter agency? GLOMAR.
Title: Good Matts and Bad Matts and Their Characteristics
Description: Throughout our lives, we will have the opportunity to be introduced to many Matts - some in person, some we will interact with from afar, and some will be celebrities that we shall watch from afar. Some of these Matts shall be good and some of these Matts shall be bad. How can we determine good Matts versus bad Matts? The speaker will share his experiences with good Matts and bad Matts, as well as a framework for Matt evaluation.

Speaker: The Dave
Title: Chicken Attack!
Description: I intend to present a video game competition as well as a talk about making the game. The game will be available to play throughout the day.

Speaker: muteki
Title: I Lift Things Up and Put Them Down: A Comprehensive Treatise on Determining Appropriate Gym Mat Density
Description: I Lift Things Up and Put Them Down

Speaker: Nous
Title: Matte
Description: A brief explanation of the reflective qualities of paints and the history of Vantablack, Anish Kapoor, Stuart Semple, and nousie creating ridiculous projects for herself.

Speaker: Gwyddia
Title: Matrimony: If It Doesn't Come from DeBeers, It's Just Sparkling Prevorce
Description: The story of how two marketing geniuses in the 1900s sold the world an overpriced bill of goods and guilt for decades to come.

Speaker: Russ-i-pottimus
Title: What's the Matt'er with you?
Description: overview about my GOES setup, hydrogen belt radio nipple ticklers*, skycams and trying to monitor for shooting stars.

Speaker: Knarphie
Title: You've got to plan for the future. Protecting assets in your IRA.
Description: Utilizing state of the art GAN trained AI networks, we introduce a model of deanonymattzation, where by we source photographs of known IRA members, and with computer vision and this trained GAN network, we are capable of identifying if the individual in question is a Matt, Matthew or Mattais.

Speaker: Kara
Title: Alice in Wonderland Syndrome
Description: Alice in Wonderland Syndrome and how it connects to Matt Ellis

Matt From A Hat Talks

Note: Those who did not submit to the CFP will be voluntold to do a Matt From A Hat talk wherein you will be assigned a random MATT, MAT, or related topic generated by Matt's Deep Seek instance and must give a talk on that topic for 5+ minutes. It's fun, it's punishment, it's Funishment! Slides and on-prem research optional.

CFS: Call for Swag

As we had all together too much fun last year with bags and mattcon registration, we're going to have a swag potluck of custom Mattcon and South Philly CISOs merch. Merch? no one will be paying for anything. If you're making Swag for the Bag, we generally plan between 17-20 bags. Shirt order is in. The time to register shirt size has ended.

Mattcon Meshtastic Channel: MattCon, yell at someone for the key.

CFP: Call for papers.

Tell us what you want to talk about before..... ping the gnome. Talks will ideally be about or related to Matts, mats, MATs, etc., or in any event the speaker must include the word "Matt" or "mat" in a gramatically-correct sentence within the first thirty seconds of their talk.

MattCon Labs:

We will probably set aside time for playing around with a few things such as LORA routers and silly things.
Any questions can be directed to 1-267-fuck-wiz South Philly CISO operators are standing by, and getting Baja Blasted.